The photograph I never took
You would have thought that I’d have time in 9 months of pregnancy, or really 18 months seeing as I have two children, to take a picture of my bear bump. You would have thought that I would have made sure I had at least one picture of my tight, round, popped out belly button, beautiful stretch marked tummy. NO. Not one. Not even a slightly rubbish, cutting my head off iPhone picture taken by my husband.
In some ways I don’t understand why I didn’t ever take one. Now that I’m a full-time filmmaker and photographer it now seems absolutely obvious and essential to record this and be able to revisit that special memory. But for some reason I didn’t.
Both my pregnancies were glorious, I absolutely loved being pregnant. They were certainly not plain sailing, day to day was hard especially my second one as I had quite a few issues that made my gynaecologist get her knickers in a twist over me wanting another home birth. But over all I have never felt so empowered as a woman, so beautiful, my body doing what it is incredibly designed to do. I always thought there’d be another opportunity, another day when my hair looked better or I didn’t have a spot or I just felt more like having a photo taken. But that day never came and suddenly my babies were here.
There are many crazy reasons why women want more children. What is it about seeing a newborn or a plump pregnant belly that makes your ovaries start twitching? Apart from the morally higher reasonable reasons for wanting to try for a third child I will admit that one of the some might say shallow reasons was so I could have photos of me pregnant with a beautiful bear bump. I’d even decided to have the birth photographed.
But baby three was not our destiny. Now after quite a few years, time heals. So, I delve deep into my memory and take pictures and little films there. The time I was sat in the hospital and my belly started to move like in Alien. The time I tried a new pair of maternity jeans on in H&M with my sister. The only time I’ve felt sexy in a bikini, sunbathing on holiday in Jordon.
I guess this is why I’m so passionate about recording the precious stages of pregnancy. It is such a special gift to be able to give a mum to be, to record for her the most precious, creative, changing, fleeting time in her life. A time to be proud of herself.
